“How could I save my marriage? “is one of the most common questions. Numerous people are stuck in the phase where they simply don’t see a lot of positive aspects of their relationships. Very often, it doesn’t mean that they are gone; rather, the focus is put on all the negative ones. Everyone expects the grand solution to all of their problems, but in reality, the secret is in the small things.
Yes, this is one of the cheesiest advices ever. However, even though certain people are so desperate to find the miracle solution to their marital problems, they simply fail to do this one right. Talking to someone sounds easy; however, that’s now always the case. It is necessary to choose the right timing and to set some limits. Have you ever heard that someone got divorced because their partner forgot to wash the dishes? Not very likely. However, things do add up. The dishes are still in the sink, he didn’t take the trash out, he doesn’t listen to me, he doesn’t care and the list goes on and if that’s the case, everyone would lose their interest. However, the fact is that you’ve known for a while that it takes a couple of days for your partner to do something. Tell him! It will be easier for him to accept the fact that he failed at doing one thing, then to actually bring the entire pile at him. It takes one thing at the time.
Now, there isn’t a single person who doesn’t want to receive compliments. The ladies like to know how great they look and how much their spouse loves them. Well, your husband also likes to know that he is taking good care of your family and that their presence is noticed. Before actually questioning yourself: “How could I save my marriage?” just think of all the little things that made you fall in love with him in the first place. And then every time you notice him doing your favorite thing, just reminding him of how much it means to you by a simple compliment.
As much as we all love to be the smartest ones, that’s not always the case. Therefore, it takes a lot of strength to admit that. While fighting, discussing or debating with your partner, numerous outcomes are possible. And you need to be ready to accept them all. One cannot be right all the time. It doesn’t matter how much experience or knowledge he has. Even when we were kids, our parents and teachers taught us to accept the fact that we cannot always win. In addition, every time we think of us as those who have lost something, our attitudes need to be changed. Every time one loses the argument, he simply needs to recognize that some else was right. So next time you think: “How could I save my marriage? “; try to understand and recognize your partners beliefs and attitudes. You don’t have to completely understand them or agree with them, but try to understand the story behind them. Just think of the beginning of a relationship. You weren’t the same person as you are today and neither is your partner. You both changed each other with your conversation and actions.
Quitting was always, and it probably always will be, one of the easiest things to do. When marriage doesn’t live up to your expectations, the idea of leaving your partner automatically pops into your mind. However, just because it is the easiest thing to do, it doesn’t mean that it is the best one. At that point you should remember the wows you took on your wedding day. At that moment, everything was the way you wanted it to be. But what happens when things go wrong? Well, that is the right time to put all of your efforts into creating the path you wanted to be on. Just because you can’t feel the passion and love you once did, it doesn’t mean it does not exist any longer. In today’s hectic world we get so occupied with everyday things and reaching our next goal that we often forget about the goals we’ve already reached. At one point, your partners’ heart was all you ever wanted. Don’t let it slip simply because your “to do“list is full of chores.
The reason why this action took place as the number five is not because it is least important; rather, because it is the hardest one. Not everyone is capable of objectively analyzing themselves. It is much easier to focus on your partners’ behavior than on your own. Many people often forget that marriage is the symbioses of two, which means that both partners’ actions influence its condition. Instead of focusing on how to save “my” marriage, one should rather wonder about his/ her own attributions to it. Every action has its consequences in everything we do and we often tend to forget that. In order for one to save the marriage, he needs to self reflect his own behavior and the consequences of it.