All marriages go through its ups and downs and sometimes, it appears that the downs happen more frequently the longer you stay married. If you fear your marriage is slowly draining the life out of your relationship, stop blaming the marriage! The answer is definitely not divorce because if you both love each other, nothing is unsolvable.
By focusing on these 6 steps to rekindling the love you have for each other and decreasing the times you argue and disagree, you will be saving your marriage and your belief in each other and the relationship. Surely as a couple, you are worth the effort.
Step 1. De-stressing the Communication Lines
Are you in that stage where you don’t hear each other anymore? A stage where all you can hear are judgment calls, resentment, and anger or disappointment? Can you still talk amicably for hours without getting on each other’s nerves? If not, you need to de-stress the communication lines and close that gap. It starts with listening…
- Listen to the message, ignore the messenger. You might be surprised that you are pre-judging your spouse even before the conversation gets going. If you can let go of this obstacle, you and your spouse will be able to have fun talking to each other and even be excited to sit down for a meal, after dinner chats, and bedroom whispers.
Step 2. Time To Let Go of Deep-Seated Emotions
Do you love your spouse or are you too busy fighting your spouse to think about love? Even love and passion can become deep-seated emotions, not just anger and resentment. Imagine what one sincere apology could do to release all that passion, love, and negative feelings? You will feel lighter, ready to face any challenges, and start to see your spouse as the person you feel in love with rather than the one who is constantly challenging you. Say sorry and mean it but don’t demand that your spouse do the same. Let it come without prodding or force and if the apology never comes, so what? You were able to let it all go and you’ll be able to carry the marriage through this difficult time.
Step 3. It’s No One’s Fault
Go forward, don’t go back. What’s the point in rehashing past mistakes?
Step 4. Start The Appreciation Game
This is a game that couples play when they go on a retreat together. They list down the things they appreciate in each other and then each one gets a chance to read the list to the other. You’d be surprised how uplifting this can be for your marriage and self-esteem.
Step 5. See A Marriage Counselor
At one point, you should visit a marriage counselor. This person can help you confirm that you are on the right track to saving your marriage. If you’re still hitting roadblocks, the counselor can assist you in breaking down these barriers.
Step 6. Spend Time Together
No marriage will work out perfectly but marriages can be fun, exciting, romantic, secure, and be the kind of relationship that will make you smile for no reason at all. You can get it to this stage by spending more time together – just the 2 of you some of the time and with the children on other occasions. Learn to laugh together, avoid pointing out faults and placing blame, and start enjoying each other’s company. It won’t be easy at the start but don’t give up. It gets easier the more time you spend together as friends and lovers.