Knowing that your marriage is failing can be very depressing and hard for you to deal with, especially if you don’t want your marriage to end. Many spouses have been in this same situation and have brought their marriages back to life, even when they have been on the very edge of divorce. You can, too. In this article, we will discuss tips for saving your marriage no matter what shape it’s in.
Saving a marriage starts with understanding. You must understand what is going on and why it’s happening. This includes understanding your own actions that might have propelled your marriage into the red zone. What could you have done better? Make a list of these things and own up to them. Everyone makes mistakes, and now is your chance to make it right. Present this list to your spouse, along with admitting that you have probably left some out, but that you tried and you’re sorry and you want to work on the marriage. This is the first, very healing step.
Once you have owned up to your actions within the marriage, you need to begin working on your marriage. That starts with communication. While most marriages involve negative communication – yelling, blaming, and criticizing – that must stop for the marriage to be a success. Using positive communication is possible, and you can do that by gaining control of your anger, using calm, even tones, and being honest while you’re also being empathetic. Try to understand how what you say will affect your spouse. How would you feel if these things were said to you? Think about these things before you say anything to your spouse. In a troubled marriage, this is very important.
Spending time with your spouse is a must. This is a very important aspect to saving your marriage. Whether the two of you are able to get away and spend time alone, or if you just spend a few minutes in bed talking before you go to sleep, it is all positive. Spending time together doesn’t have to include having long, emotional conversations. Simply watching a movie together or doing fun things together is great. This strengthens bonds and creates closeness.
Another of the most important things you can do is to create goals. Creating goals in a marriage is basically stating the things you would like to do to make your marriage better. Whether you would like to spend more time with your spouse, be more understanding, or whatever, this is what goals allow you to focus on. Make sure you keep your goals attainable and realistic. Something like, “I would like to spend at least an hour a day with my spouse,’ is a good goal.
Using these tips will help you get on the right track to saving your marriage. Even desperate marriages can be repaired and become extremely successful!