Have you ever wondered what to talk about before getting married? And how were the answers you got? Yeah, my honest Marriage Counseling Questions article today will list you some of the most important topics along with questions that you really need to explore before starting a married life.
1. Meaning of Your Marriage Commitment
Some of the questions should be asked within this topic include:
A. What is the real meaning of commitment to you as you make plans to get married?
B. Why are you choosing your partner out of a lot of others who you have ever met and must have married?
C. What in your partner attracted you since the first time of meeting and what are you expecting from your partner?
2. Your Life Long Goals
Yeah, related to this topic, you should consider some of the questions below:
A. What is your desire in both long-term and short-term future in terms of your career?
B. What are you going to do to take care of your community alone or separately?
C. What do you think about leaving a legacy after you die?
3. Your Mutual Expectations
A. What are you looking for in a marital partner, in term of emotional support during exciting times, or difficult times?
B. Is it important to you to set aside one night just to be together alone to catch up with each other and have fun?
C. What is your expected size house and what kind of neighborhood do you expect to live in both now and in the future?
D. Are you both clear how much alone time the other needs?
E. How much time do you want your partner to spend with friends separately and together?
4. Your Living Arrangements
A. What is your plan to live together with your partner?
B. Where do you want to live in after having children?
C. What will you do in case a new career path or job is reason enough to move?
D. Do you want to live in the same house or area for a long time?
5. Will you have children and if so how many?
A. When are you really ready to start a family?
B. What is the age distance that you want your kids to be in?
D. What kinds of philosophies about child raising you learn from your parents and do you agree or disagree?
E. What kinds of punishment you are going to apply do educate your children?
A. Do you want a separate or joint checking accounts or both?
B. In case you have separate accounts, who will be responsible for which expenses?
C. Who will pay the bills?
D. What do you think about having complete financial disclosure about each of your personal financial situation at all times?
E. How do you want the disagreements in spending money to be resolved?
F. What is reasonable amount of available money do you think each of you need to have to feel comfortable?
G. Will there be a savings plan for the first house?
7. Parents and In-laws
A. How much time do you plan for each of you to spend with your parents and how much time do you want your partner to join you?
B. What is your plan on holiday spending?
C. How do you want your partner to support you when you are under pressure from parents?
E. Do you agree with the fact that either of you talks with parents about the problems of the relationship?
F. What kind of relationship do you hope your kids to have with your parents?
8. Gender Role Expectations
A. What did you learn from your parents in terms of who did what in the family?
B. Do you find that fair and do you expect something different?
C. Does each of you have any preferences that may be totally unrelated to gender?
D. Do both of you agree to work if you have children?
F. When the children get sick, who do you think will be better to stay at home with them?
9. Do you agree with issues about erotic moments together?
A. How often do you want an intimate evening with each other?
B. How will you deal with the differences in sexual preferences?
C. What do you think about making an agreement on how to resolve the differences in sexual desire in terms of frequency?
D. Are there certain things that are clearly off limits?
E. What do you think about sharing your sexual concerns at the time when you both are feeling creative and relaxed and not during sex?
10. How will you resolve heated conflicts?
A. How did your parents resolve their differences? Or how have it affected what you expect in terms of expressed anger?
B. Do you agree to have either of you ask for a time out to calm down and be creative in your problem solving?
D. What rituals are you going to develop to reach out to each other after a big fight?
11. Spiritual Life
A. How does each of you think about spirituality?
B. How do you want your partner take part in some form of spiritual community?
C. Do you want to share what means something to you with your partner?
D. Will you allow your children to attend any regular services or religious education?
12. Agreement about extramarital relationships
A. Do you want to make sure that affairs are not an option from the beginning?
B. Do you agree that affairs of the heart are equivalent to a sexual affair?
C. Do you want to tell your partner about someone that you feel drawn to as a colleague or erotically since this can build the bond between you and your partner rather than the outside person?
D. Will you claim to never talk to a person of the opposite sex (apart from a therapist or clergy) about your real relationship with your partner for it can make a bond outside of your relationship?
Yea, here are the most common and important questions that you should consider and be sure of the answers before getting married. Make sure that you know what to do in each situation by answering each of the questions confidently and firmly, then you will certainly have your expected marriage.