The impression most people have of marriage counseling is that it is going to be an attempt to delve into the most intimate details of a married couple – and that makes many uncomfortable. Very people are willing to open up to their families and loved ones much more to a person they have never met before. Some of the fears are:
- Being vulnerable to a person who you may bump into in social circles
- Being embarrassed by your secrets
- Being embarrassed by your spouse’s secrets and admissions
And yet, by knowing the kind of marriage counseling questions that are usually asked during the session, you can get rid of all your anxieties and concentrate on the marital issues plaguing your relationship.
Who’s The Boss?
One of the questions that is asked is who’s in charge? Who makes the major decisions? It’s a simple question that lays the groundwork for the relationship because the one in charge is usually the leader in the relationship. Traditionally, this role belongs to the male but things have changed drastically over the years and couples can agree to a shift in roles.
Why are you here?
A counselor would have to ask the reason or reasons why a couple needs guidance or intervention. Sometimes, this question goes unanswered until midway through the counseling if the couple cannot express why they keep arguing. And it’s okay not to have good answers because no one is grading you are judging you. One thing that a marriage counselor will advise you is that “there is no right or wrong feelings, but there are ways to address issues so the negative feelings can be eliminated.”
What is your idea of a good marriage?
This is a standard question in marriage counseling because most people who grew up in a stable environment would want a marriage that their parents had while those who grew up in a dysfunctional environment are unsure of what a good marriage is.
What angers you about your spouse?
Everyone has their pet peeves in a marriage and it can be buried so deep that a person can be unaware it even exists. The marriage counselor’s job is to help bring any issues into the open so it can be discussed. In many relationships, hurt feelings and emotions can come from way back in the past but manifest in sudden unexplained bursts of anger or resentment. To cure the marriage, these feelings have to be said and resolved.
What is it about your spouse that you are proud of?
This is one way the marriage counselor helps rebuild the broken relationship. It is a careful process that usually starts with a question like this. The answer could be anything from the physical appearance, work ethics, religion, humor, personality traits, family background, and many other reasons.
Do you trust your spouse?
Many couples that go through marriage counseling have trust issues. In order for a marriage to survive a trauma or problem, trust has to be restored. A counselor can do mental exercises or ask the couple to do some activity at home to help restore the trust.
Other marriage counseling questions will simple deal with getting your side of the story out in the open without anyone butting in to argue or debate. In counseling, the best part is being able to be important enough to be heard and understood. It’s worth all the hassle as long as you are honest and sincere and willing to listen as well.
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